Sometimes, I feel like I have the weight of the world on my back, or hanging from my neck, holding me down, keeping me from living an abundant life. Ever felt that way?

A recent headline caught my eye, “Hunter bags buck with large head tangled in his antlers”. Yeah, it got my attention. The picture displayed a beautiful buck with a mature rack, and the skeletal remains of the head and rack of another, less fortunate buck. How could that happen? What led to the buck carrying around a dead-head, and probably dragging the deceased bucks body around for – who knows how long?

Clearly, the two had a run in, and it didn’t end well for either of them. Considering they were both mature, it’s not likely they were playing. They were fighting for something they each wanted – the right to mate with a doe or the right to have a certain territory. Whatever they were fighting about was big and important to each of them. This is where my imagination took over.

These two majestic fella’s had their fight, and ended up in a head lock. Let’s call them Buck A and Buck B, Buck A being the one who survived the battle. Clearly, Buck B was injured and died from his injuries. Buck A dragged Buck B’s lifeless body around for who knows how long, finding it quite difficult to eat or drink, or even travel. Certainly, Buck A didn’t get to have the fling with the the little doe he was fighting over. That’s pretty sad.

After a few days of dragging the weight of his dead victim, Buck A decided the weight was just too much to bear. “I’ve got to let it go” he said to himself. And in my Bambi brain, I can imagine the creatures of the forest gathering around him and encouraging him to let it go. After the encouragement of his forest friends, Buck A found the strength to twist his body around the dead buck enough to tear its head away from its body. The forest erupted in songs of joy that Buck A was freed from the burden of his fight. But was he? He may have reduced the weight of his bondage significantly, but he still had a cadaver head and rack weighing down his own head. He was still entangled with Buck B’s head and rack. Each time he tried to get a drink of water, that weight pulled him down. Every time he tried to taste a tender blade of grass, that weight pulled him down. Gravity. The gravity of gravity.

More than once, a heavy burden hidden in my heart has weighed me down to the point of not being able to function as the child of God that I am. More than once, even though I thought I had rid myself of, or forgotten about, the reason for the burden, I found myself a slave to it once again. Weighed down by the rack of betrayal, bitterness, unforgiveness, hurt or just plain sadness. Sadness. That’s a biggy for me. Thankfully, I have a Father who won’t allow me to remain in my sadness, and as He gently and masterfully untangles the rack of sadness that is weighing me down, He reminds me that He is my joy and my strength.

You see, we all have times where for one reason or another, we butt heads with someone else. But let’s take a lesson from the these two bucks, and not let it 1) kill us; or 2) weigh us down. We have to learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Believe me, it’s so freeing!

Carrying around a dead-head of a grudge equals unforgiveness. Whether it’s not forgiving yourself, or not forgiving the other buck, it’s still unforgiveness. That in itself is a sin. God commands us to forgive, whether we like it or not.

PSALMS 32

A psalm of David.

1 Oh, what joy for those

whose disobedience is forgiven,

whose sin is put out of sight!

2 Yes, what joy for those

whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,

whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

3 When I refused to confess my sin,

my body wasted away,

and I groaned all day long.

4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.

My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. 

5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you

and stopped trying to hide my guilt.

I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”

And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

Lord, thank You for removing the rack of bitterness, sadness and sin from my head. What a huge burden it was to carry by myself. How I thank You for taking it all upon Yourself, at the cross, where You willingly died for my sins. Please, Lord, hold me tight, hold my head up, let me exist only and fully for You! I love You!